Word	Definition
BDSM	An acronym: including, but not limited to: bondage, discipline, domination, dominance, submission, subservience, sadism, masochism, sadomasochism.
BDSM&F	The above acronym with fetish & fetishism added, signified by the 'F'. This acronym is used whenever there is a cross-over between the fetish and the BDSM sub-cultures (which there often is) because many fetishists do not engage in any sort of BDSM; but are strictly fetishists, therefore the acronym BDSM does not apply to pure fetishists who do not engage in BDSM acts.
B/D = Bondage and Discipline	Refers to the act of at least one person being physically put into bondage for the sake of learning a discipline; usually the discipline of submission. Self-administered or done within a D/S relationship.
Bottom	The participant in a consensual relationship who is the recipient of actions done by the controller or administrator who is commonly called the Top in a Top/Bottom relationship. This term is not equivalent to a D/S (Dominator/Submittor) relationship because it does not necessarily imply force (a D/S relationship always implies the dichtomy of force and submission), rather it usually refers to simply physical actions being done between people who are not in a pre-defined or complex or commited relationship. This term is the most accurate one to use in the case of commodified relationships in which one person is being paid to perform specific requests to another (such as a dominatrix and patron relationship). return to top
Bottoming	The act of receiving sensations performed by an administrator. Again, this term does not imply that there is a genuine power-exchange occuring. It is a simplistic exchange done by a preconceived, consensual agreement. The term itself, just as the term 'top', always implies consensuality and is generally not found outside of the BDSM sub-culture (presumably because it would then necessarily lose its implication of consensuality).
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Catharsis	(Noun) (Sometimes spelled with a "k" which is philologically more accurate, since it is a Greek work which many scholars believe was created by Artistotle.) A deep release of emotions, or the transcendence or integration of an intense emotional state. The body goes through a complex physiological process when going through an emotional catharcism, and the result is a feeling of well-being, balance, relaxation, serenity, which was called 'ataraxia' by the Stoics of ancient Rome. This word in its original language refers specifically to the therapeutic benefit of going to the Theater, where people were encouraged to act abberantly, wildly and hedonistically, as a way to "cleanse" or purify their daemons (i.e. 'spirits' in the neutral, non-theological sense of the word). return to top
Dominant	Adjective used to describe a character trait. Used as a noun whenever a Dominant/Submissive relationship is being carried out. One who exercises control, influence or guidance over someone else. Does not describe the actions per se, because actions themselves can never be 'dominant' nor 'submissive'; it is only the personal experience and mindset of the participants of the acts that determine how a particular act is experienced. In the generic sense of this word, outside of the BDSM subculture, it simply refers to a personality trait and is equivalent to the adjective 'domineering'.
Dominate	Verb used to describe literal actions taking place; specifically, the actions being done by the dominator of a power-exchange relationship. This term does not imply notions either consensuality or nonconsensuality; it applies to both. To control, master, overwhelm, guide, take the lead position, either forcefully or by agreement. return to top
Domination and Submission	Verbs that are often used as nouns by the BDSM subculture, referring to a power-exchange situation in which a dominant party and a submissive party are carrying out an oppositional exchange. The term usually, but not always, implies that actions are taking place. Domination and submission occur to varying degrees of height and depth; but each must always be measured in direct proportion to its other, to its source; otherwise authenticity of the actions can easily be lost. In other words; these terms should not be mistaken for the more simplistic terms Top and Bottom. The degree of authenticity must be measured as a whole act including both oppositions at once; because domination and submission are not separate acts: they are two halves of one whole: there can be no domination without submission and vice versa. This means that there cannot be genuine submission without genuine domination, nor can there be genuine domination if there is not a genuine submission occuring in the relationship.
Dominance and Subservience	Refers to character traits and/or qualities of a particular relationship, or to actions that take place within such a relationship. For example, an act may be called 'an act of dominance' or 'an act of subservience'.return to top
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Domina	(Noun) A female who engages in acts of domination, displays dominance and is the dominator in a D/S relationship.
Dominatrix	(Noun) Not exactly the same meaning as Domina in that a dominatrix is a weakened version of a Domina. Dominatrix is more of a generic term with connotations simply of one who assumes a controlling position. There is a big difference between "domination" and mere "control". The term 'dominatrix' implies a controller, not necessarily a true dominator, while the term 'domina' implies true domination rather than mere control such as that which occurs in a top/bottom exchange. Dominatrix is the most common term used by sex workers who take the sexually-controlling position for payment. These terms are gradually, over the years becoming more and more equivalent to each other as dominatrix prostitutes try harder and harder to project the (ultimately false) image of providing authentic domination to their patrons.return to top
Domme	(Noun) A female dominator.
Dominator	(Noun) An androgynous, generic term referring to anyone who engages in acts of domination.
Fetish	(Noun) A material object which holds a significant degree of power over its creator or possessor; not necessarily erotic power, though that is the usual perception for people who live in the vulgar culture. When the word is capitalized it refers to a very specific abstract concept involving a fetish as well as fetish acts, as opposed to the simple, generic, broad-spectrum version of the word uncapitalized. For an expanded definition of this word, read my articles on fetishism.
Fetish Act	Refers to actions being done for the cultivation or development of a fetish. Such actions may be done out of conscious, or unconscious reasons. Fetishes are objects, material or abstract, and when those objects are used in acts or rituals, they are fetish acts. A person "has" a fetish, and "does" a fetish act, which makes such a person a fetishist. return to top
Ontology	The study of Being and what it means 'to be'. Some people mistakenly equivocate this term with metaphysics, but that is inaccurate because metaphysics is concerned exclusively with the underlying structure of reality, while ontology is concerned exclusively with being in the world and in life itself, regardless of its metaphysical reality (note that 'reality' here has an infinite number of possible conceptions).
Mistress	(Noun) A woman who has a sexual or erotic affair with a married man, or a woman who engages in entertainment with married men. The term also means "female head of a household" whether married to a "male/master of the household" or a single woman, same meaning. The term "Dominant Mistress" refers to a woman who exclusively plays the dominant role in a D/S relationship. In the pop-culture BDSM industry this term is synonymous with dominatrix.
Masochist	(Noun) One who finds deep emotional fulfillment from being put into calculated, measurable, controlled pain, though ultimately safe from any real or permanent harm. Implies both those who seek consensual arrangements as well as those who are not concerned with the consensuality on the part of the one inflicting the pain. return to top
Power-Exchange	(Verb) Refers to any situation in which power is being exchanged in some way; either bodily/literally, emotionally, cognitively or spiritually. This term is outside of any notions of consensuality or non-consensuality (those are qualifying terms, not connoted by the term "power-exchange"). In BDSM&F subculture, control and power are mistakenly thought of as the exact same concept. (True power does not involve force nor control, and is not in any way equivalent to the mistaken concept of power that is currently being used in both pop-culture and BDSM&F subculture (which are just slight variations of pop-culture anyway, and are not counter-cultures except in very rare individual instances).
Pro-Domme	(Noun) Shortened version of 'professional dominatrix'. return to top
Psychoanalysis	The act of making the unconscious conscious through a method of verbal exchange. The psychoanalyst interprets information given by the analysand, using a theory and application. The act of psychoanalysis has been around for thousands of years, but the clinical version of it, done by members of the medical community, such as psychiatrists and psychologists, is only a little over a hundred years old. There are dozens of different theoretical models from which psychoanalysts work. For example, there are Freudian analysts, Jungian analysts, Horneyian analysts, Menningerian analysts, Kleinian analysts, and dozens of others, many of who are in extreme opposition to each other. Psychoanalysts who are trained in the medical community hold very different theoretical tenets from psychoanalysts who are trained strictly as philosophers outside of the clinical culture. Often the one and only thing psychoanalysts have in common with each other is that they believe there is an unconscious part of the human which has influence over noumenal experience as well as over emotional health and behavioural patterns. return to top
Sadist	(Noun) One who finds deep emotional fulfillment in causing measurable, controlled, calculated pain. Implies both those who seek consensual arrangements as well as those who have no concern for agreement on the part of the one being put into pain.
S/M = Sadomasochism	(Noun) To be engaged in the acts of Masochism and Sadism simultaneously; either in the form of self-administered pain, or with others involved, usually with one person acting as Sadist and the other acting as Masochist. return to top
Slavery	(Noun) To be under the control and direction of of a Superior or Owner, for the direct benefit of the Superior or Owner. This term always implies force, though some slaves describe themselves as being completely willing to be owned and controlled for the benefit of their Owners. (I call such types Submissives (not really slaves)---because the term "Submissive", being used as a noun, implies willfull submission instead of forced subservience; the latter being what slavery achieves.). return to top
Submissive	Adjective used to describe one who gives up control, power or personal will to someone else. A term of distinguishment in a power-exchange. (The oppositional term of distinguishment in a D/S relationship is Dominant.)
Submit	Verb used to describe literal actions taking place. To give up control, willpower, be guided, take a subservient position, either consensually or nonconsensually. This word is outside of any notions of consensus on the actions taking place in the power-exchange. return to top
Switch	(Noun) One who enacts both dominant and submissive tendencies. Usually refers to a person who is balanced between both natural tendencies, and is capable of going in any direction under conducive circumstances. (Everyone is a Switch; though most are in denial of this.) This does not imply that the Switch can be easily manipulated into "switching". Most Switches are more powerful both as dominants and as submissives because they do not fear or avoid one side or the other and are usually very clear about what they are doing while they are doing it. Switches are the most emotionally mature and balanced of all BDSM&F performers. return to top
Service Top	(Noun) The one who simply does whatever the "bottom" or "submissive" wants, without one's own needs being considered. There is no domination and submission in this type of exchange: it is simply physical acts being done for the sake of creating and receiving sensations. A Service Top approaches BDSM actions as being done for the "bottom". One who serves the bottom; acts as a dominant only for the sake of the bottom. Nearly all professional dominatrices are Service Tops (not real Dominants) with Bottoms (not real Submissives) as their clients. return to top
Top	(Noun) The one in a power-exchange who "takes" the power/control away from the "bottom". A Top is a generic term designating the one who does physical things to someone else.
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Unconscious	(Adjective) The part of the mind that is not known on a conscious level. The part of the mind that holds the most information on a genetic, emotional, spiritual and neurological level. The unconscious is often feared, ignored or looked down upon by ignorant people who do not understand it awesome and ultimately benevolent power. return to top

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