I have been working as a counselor since 2002. From 2004-2006, and late 2007-2008, I also went to college full-time. I finished my BA degree in philosophy and psychology, then did a 9-month training program in addiction counseling. In January 2009 I began studying full-time for an MA in psychology with a focus on existential theorists, and as always, I will continue to do philosophical counseling alongside my academic pursuits.
The approach that I take to the study of fetishism is philosophical rather than medical. This means that I view the tendency for humans to cultivate objects with symbolic value, which they bring into ritualistic practices, as a completely natural phenomenon rather than a pathology. Fetishism is 'normal' (i.e. common) but this does not mean that everyone has some kind of sexual perversion because not all fetishes are sexual in nature. In my experience I have found that there are as many non-sexual fetishes as there are sexual ones, and I have found that the more intelligent and complex a person is, the more complex and multi-faceted that person's fetishes are as well. The form of fetish taken by the average person is usually fairly straight-forward and uncomplex, while fetish forms taken by the more intelligent, complex personalities are vastly more intricate and are usually meant to serve more than one purpose simultaneously.
I think the existential philosophers are the most intellectually sophisticated in understanding human nature, because they recognize that emotional problems (which cause behavioral problems) are often ontological problems, which need to be dealt with philosophically, not clinically. Clinical psychology is based on the behaviorist mindset, which views the human as a complex robot that just needs to be manipulated and controlled in the right way in order to conform to social norms.
My theory and application is what might be called 'contemporary' though really my work is more of a resurrection of lost ancient knowledge than a creation of new ideas. The first three years of my work (1999-2002) I did within a research capacity. I talked with several hundred people about their sexual fetishes, fixations, obsessions, perversions, addictions, etc. I did not use any existing theory to interpret the data that I was given. Rather, I allowed the data to remain unexplained, and over the years I studied the common threads that appeared in the histories of the hundreds of persons that I interviewed, and eventually I began to form hypotheses to explain the patterns, then I went about testing and refining the hypotheses, until finally I formed my own theory on fetishism. At that point, in 2002, I began working as 'the fetish analyst', and though my theory was unrefined when I began, within two years I had analyzed so many persons that my theory became what I could finally call 'complete' by the end of 2004. I have continued to refine and further develop my theory over the past several years. By now, I have formally analyzed over 500 fetishes, fixations, obsessions, compulsions, and perversions.
I have put thousands of hours of thought into the self-created theory that I use to understand unusual, bizarre, extreme, and deviant sexual behaviors and fantasies. During the years that I spent developing my theory full-time, 1999-2004, hundreds of times I woke up in the middle of the night with a sudden insight on some mysterious aspect of human sexuality that I had been pondering for weeks or months. It was a very intense, extremely focused period of time. During those years of collecting information, experiences, observations, and reflections, in order to interpret the data (i.e. draw conclusions) that I had collected from hundreds of people who visited me as a dominatrix, I had a choice of either creating my own theory of human sexuality, or using a widely-accepted theory of human sexuality found in clinical psychology. The latter was unappealing to me, because I do not like clinical theories. I prefer philosophical theories, so I decided to form my own theory on human sexuality, and by the end of 2004 I felt that I had developed it as much as I could during that phase of my research, then I prompty quit working in the sex industry, and went back to college to finish my BA in philosophy and psychology.
For those who are curious about academic credentials, I'm a Registered Counselor in the State of Washington (#60001955) and I have a federal certification as a Peer Support Group Counselor granted by the University of Washington Institute for Mental Health Research & Training. I did my studies in philosophy at
The University of Texas at Austin and my studies in psychology at
The Evergreen State College of Washington. These credentials only prove that I can read, write essays, take tests, and excel under pressure of performance. The truth that is overlooked by academics and the general public, is that it is not possible to understand a phenomenon by reading about it in books and listening to inexperienced professors discuss it in classrooms. The only way to really understand something is by immersing oneself in it completely and for a prolonged period with an open mind unpolluted by clinical, scholastic, and religious agendas. A heart of untainted, egoless intentions is also necessary in order to allow the phenomenological aspects of human nature to speak for themselves. The most useful thing I learned in college was how to coherently discuss the discoveries that I made through my own life experience.
My experience in observing, studying, or practicing sexual deviations began at age 18 when I first dabbled in BDSM, continued at age 21 when I became an erotic dancer, changed course at age 27 when I began working as BDSM stage performance artist, and morphed into new territory yet again, when I ventured into the realm of commercialized BDSM at age 31 when I became a professional dominatrix and 'dark psychodramatist'. At age 36 I quit working as a performance artist altogether, and since the Autumn of 2004 I've worked only as a counselor and nothing else (along with being a college student). I have lived in the underground segments of North American society all my life, which no doubt has helped me to remain neutral in the face of extreme human thought and behavior. My extensive experience in 'alternative lifestyles' is the distinct advantage that I have over academics and clinicians; I really do understand 'the dark side' of human nature, because I have lived immersed in various segments of it my whole life.
My current research involves finding philosophers who inspire further development of my theory of human nature, so that the theory will eventually encompass not just deviant sexual behaviors, but other deviant human behaviors as well. The bulk of my theory was created between 1999 and 2004, and has become more refined in the years following. It has been a fascinating journey in making these discoveries about the nature of human sexuality, formulating a coherent, clear picture and communicating it using words. I have found such immense satisfaction in my analytic work that I have decided to continue this work to the doctorate level and beyond, for the rest of my life. It is my 'calling', that which holds the most intellectual interest for me, uses my higher talents, and allows me to prosper in life without sacrificing my integrity, health, and need for creativity.
In summary, my professional practice as a philosophical counselor began with five years of methodical theoretical development using several hundred people as 'test subjects', preceded by a background of several years of studying existential philosophy.
